Guide to overnight stays

Who decides if I can stay overnight with friends?
Usually your foster carer or residential staff decide this with you.

Sometimes they may discuss this with your parent and / or your social worker, especially if you have not lived with them for long, do not know the friend you want to stay with, or if the placement or care plan says they have to.

Foster carers and residential staff will have to make the same decisions as parents would do about whether this is a good idea.

Some of the things they have to consider are:

• your age and understanding
• whether they know enough about the people you would be staying with
• what you would be doing and how long you would be staying a court order or anything written in your care plan or placement agreement that stops you from being in a certain area or in contact with a particular person
• anything that has happened in the past or is happening now that means you cannot stay over at a friend's.

They should know the contact details of the person you would be staying with, and make sure that you know how to contact them if you need too. Most of all, they need to know you really want to go on the visit!

This is what some young people told us:-

"My foster mum has to phone my social worker who phones my mum - it’s really complicated."

"When I went on holiday with my girlfriend’s family they weren't police-checked. My foster carer rang the social worker and made sure it was all right. They had to fill in a form to say they would look after you, but they didn’t mind".

Are there times when you should not be allowed to stay over with friends?

• If you've stayed out two nights in a row
• If you do something wrong, like get drunk, you should have to stay at home and be grounded.

Do your friends' families need to be ‘police checked’ if you want to stay overnight at their house?
No. The government has brought out guidelines about this to make this clear, and Children's Services are making sure that social workers, foster carers and residential staff know about these.

What your foster carers and residential workers should do?

• Your foster carer should talk to the parents and see what they are doing while you are visiting
• They should know the phone number and address and do a little check by phoning the number. Someone could give their wrong number and address
• They should put into their log book: Where you are going, when you are coming back, what you are doing, and who they have spoken to about it.

BACK TO PREVIOUS SCREEN